We must protect this.....odor?

I can't even put one on anymore without making a wrinkled face. "What the hell? I just washed this!!?" My wife takes out a restraining order every time I wear one. I know I can't be the only one who has this problem. In fact, I know I am not.

A few weeks ago, I was having this same conversation with trainer here in Greensboro. He informed me that he had to purchase some fancy laundry detergent to get out the smell from his and for his clients' Under Armour shirts. Apparently its the detergent Olympians use or the top clubbies in the MLB use for their players. I think it was like 7 bucks for like 8 uses. But shoot, the way my shirts stank, it just might be worth it.

I'm talking about Under Armour T-shirts, sweat shirts, sweat pants, whatever. They always absorb odors. My brother Jeremy agreed with me. I asked him to comment on this topic."Oxi Clean can't fight that stench. I'll be working out and get sick on my own smell. Embarassing to be near anyone else." The older the shirt, the more it smells. So much that it becomes toxic to your skin, and toxic to those near or even a few 100 feet away. Maybe I have some sort of poisonous sweat, some nutrient deficiency, or toxicity that I am not aware of. I've tried different laundry detergents and dryer sheets. Sorry Snuggle Bear, sometimes you just don't do the job. Oxiclean? Nope. Fabreze? Man that stuff can defunk anything. Nope. Tide with color guard. Nope. Nothing works. The only thing to do is put it in the trash can, or burn it. Wait, don't burn it, it pollute the air and make the whole in the ozone layer worse.

What am I to do. How can I "Protect my House" if i can't even protect my family from my smelly shirts. Dude, seriously, they cost like 30 bucks. At least they could smell good for more than a few workouts. They look cool. They feel good, but man, they just stink all the time. I can't compare it to anything else that I am aware of. Cat urine perhaps.

If someone in the UA marketing department ever should read this, please tell me what the solution is, or why the hell your overpriced shirts smell so damn bad. Is there something wrong with my body? Is there something wrong with my washing machine? Is there something wrong with the detergent? Am I wearing the wrong deodorant? I purchased the extra strength just to prevent my pits from smelling. What can I do? I am a fitness trainer. I workout alot. I like to wear UA gear, but I am almost at the point where I am feeling things just aren't going to workout. You know, like Charlie Weiss at Notre Dame.

I need to google this. I know I am not the only one. I can't be. I just can't be.